Releasing the first demon.Yesterday i wrote a letter to the first man that took a piece of my innocence and it felt good. not saying he will ever receive this letter but it was my way of getting past the hurt and shame of what he done to me.I wanted him to know just how he made me feel dirty,scared,and confused.I let him know how the yrs later i still battle this in my head, i have suffered eating disorders, and self mutilating, these were my ways to cope. I had control of that one thing in my life . Cutting for myself was my escape , for that few minutes when the blade sliced my skin my thoughts were on the outside pain and i didn't concentrate on the pain i had inside my head. I have many scars on my body today because of this, do i wear my scars in shame?? NO i have no reason to be ashamed of them at all, i wear them with pride because of all the shit i have gone through i know that i am strong enough to overcome this , and not let it consume me any longer.
I forgive this uncle for the things he has done to me , i will never forget and i doubt i will ever have an explanation of why he has done this to me, to be honest i don't want one , i rest easy knowing that one day he will have to answer to someone with more power than i have. God will make him answer those questions and he will have to deal with the consequences .I decided to Let go and Let god deal with you! So Uncle Wayne i want to say yes i forgive you , you can now carry the shame of stealing a child's innocence and almost destroying a life. Enjoy !
I have MY life and I will be HAPPY despite everything YOU done to me .I am a strong woman , mother , companion and friend, i will make it through this.!!
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